Thursday, November 15, 2007

FAT ON FAT CRIME!

Fat on Fat Crime is a new epidemic that is sweeping the nation. With all the prejudice and discrimination that is already going on in the world, who would ever think that Fat people would start taking it upon themselves to commit hideous acts of Random Fat Violence on one another. It is a damn shame! I have recently been the victim of two incidents of Fat on Fat Crime, and I am making it my duty to fight this with all of my might! The thought of Fat on Fat Crime has me sick with hunger pains deep down in my soul. Hopefully writing about this will help to ease the pain. If not, Dallas BBQ Sticky Wings will have to do the trick!

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On Friday September 21st, 2007 I hosted a full-figured fashion show called "The Art of Curves". The event was the brainchild of Photographer/Publicist BLACQUE SOUTHERLAND of HSS& A inc. Blacque, who is also a very beautiful full-figured woman, said her goal was to create a unique presentation of plus size fashions for the sexy, urbane women of today. Okay…that sounds like me! I am so tired of going out and seeing every fat girl rocking the same outfit. You can always tell when Lane Bryant and Ashley Stewart have a sale because every big girl you see looks like a zoo exploded on her. Lions, Tigers and Bears, Oh My! If I see another fat chick wearing a zebra print jumpsuit at a New Years' Eve party I am going to snap! Therefore, I just knew that the Art of Curves fashion show was going to be a breath of fresh air!!!

Some of the designers she featured included MONIF C., SUE ROCK ORIGINALS, MEWV, SVOBODA, BGU, FAT GIRL FLEA MARKET, ABBY Z. and TRENTACOSTA just to name a few. They are all on the cutting edge of full figured fashion ,and are trying to pay attention to the woman of size who many times is ignored by the fashion industry. Although, I'm not sure if all of them practice what they preach!

Now, as the host, Blaque told me that one of the designers would provide clothes for me. Seeing that my make-up was going to be taken care of by the show as well, I came there looking a hot mess. My face was bare, no make-up and my natural hair was all over the place. I looked a bit like Florida Evans the day James got killed. DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! Actually, without make-up and my weave, I look like Evilene, (minus the flying monkeys, of course).

Basically, I did not look cute, but I didn't need to. I was going to get "beat for the Gods" by the fashion experts at the show.

I walked in the dressing area, and there were some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen that were all size 10 and up. These women had the most amazing bodies and I felt proud to be among them! These models were what I envisioned Amazons to look like. My sexuality almost came in to question as I stared at some of the juiciest women you have ever seen. These girls were thick FOR REAL…they were gorgeous! I was a lesbian for a good 20 minutes!

BLAQUE comes in and announces "Hello Ladies. This is Erica Watson, she is our host for this evening. I need a designer to supply clothes for her!" The room fell silent. None of the designers wanted to acknowledge me. At that moment I felt like Sophia in The Color Purple when she was surrounded by all the white men in the town square right before they knocked her out. Yes, I looked a mess! I didn't look pretty at that moment. And yes, I was the BIGGEST girl in the room. But isn't this a full-figured fashion show? Shouldn't someone have something that can fit me?

One by one the designers declared "I don't have anything her size!" "Blaque, you didn't tell me you needed THAT size!" I stood there in shock. Here I was a big girl, in a big girl world and NO ONE wanted me to wear their clothes. One designer, Monif C. did come up to me personally to say how sorry she was that she didn't have my size. I fought back the tears.

Finally one of the designers from STREETWALKER approached me and said "Baby, I'm sorry. I just don't think you can fit any of my stuff. But, I know someone here must have your size!"

She screamed out to the room "Ladies, this girl is the HOST tonite. If you put her in your clothes you will get more attention! People will see her all night! Surely you all can take one of your models off the runway and put that outfit on the HOST!"

No one said anything.

Luckily I had bought something from my closet. A cute Ashley Stewart strapless jumpsuit (Animal Print FREE). The STREETWALKER designer said "Baby wear your own clothes, and I will put jewels on you! Don't worry! I'll make you look pretty!" She instructed her assistant Nafeesa to help me. Thank God for these women, they really looked out for me! Nafeesa helped me with my hair, my outfit, and reassured me that I would look fabulous no matter what!

If you are designing clothes for the plus sized fashionista who is stylish, outgoing and a urban trendsetter, wouldn't you want a girl like me to wear your clothes?

I'm not bragging, but here I am, a stand-up comedian who travels all over the country performing. I'm starring in a new film Dirty Laundry that will be in theaters nationwide in December. I'm also co-starring in the new Lee Daniels film called "PUSH" that will be in theaters next year. I have two national commercials on the OXYGEN NETWORK right now, and not to mention that I am the DIRECTOR of a reality show about FASHION called "My Model Looks Better Than Your Model" that is on the BETJ Network. As I type this, I am on the set of another film I am starring in called The Ghosts of Time Square. Basically, a fat bitch like me is hustlin' for real!!!!

And none of these stupid fat bitches stopped to think that dressing me could be beneficial to their clothing line? WTF?

We always complain that we do not have enough positive images of plus size women on tv and in film. Well, Erica Watson is on her way, and none of these designers thought that maybe for a second, they may want to dress a chick that will be on the red carpet this fall. If you search for me on Wire Images and other entertainment sites, you will see pictures of me already on the red carpet for various events. What is the purpose of designing clothes for fat women if you don't want a fat chick that is actually on tv to wear them. I'm not a celebrity, YET! And I stress YET! But so what. Why not start the networking process now? And who cares about me being on tv. None of that stuff really matters because these clothing lines should accept ALL big girls with open arms.

I went in the bathroom and cried. I cried one of those sloppy snot cries like after your momma beats you for dropping red kool-aid on her white carpet! Or better yet, the snotty cry after being the victim of FAT ON FAT CRIME!

I pulled myself together. Put on my wig (Thank you Hair Flare Inc.). Got my make-up done. Got dressed in my Ashley Stewart Clearance Rack jumpsuit and let STREETWALKER jewel me up! They even sprayed a scented oil on me that smelled so good, and lifted my spirits. I felt like a pretty girl! A Pretty Fat girl! And no matter what, I had to go out here and host my show!!!

I did a great job! A gave shout outs to the company all throughout the show, as well as a company called HAIR FLARE, Inc that had amazing lace front wigs! During intermission I ran into Carrie and Jessie, the co-founders of one of my favorite plus size magazines called SKORCH! They said I looked Amazing and that made me feel even better!

Once I was done hosting, I had to leave and go to perform in a play called "Craigslist: Live and Unauthorized!" that same night. Right before I went on stage I remembered what happened at the fashion show and I realized at the moment why it is so important for me to remember to love myself and present a positive image for women of ALL sizes.

They say that 90% of crime victims are assaulted by members of their own race. I must say that being a victim of a fat fashion drive by shooting is the worst. Instead of leaving the show feeling proud to be plus sized, I felt angered and ashamed. On one hand, maybe if you are too big to fit the clothes at a big girl fashion show that means you REALLY need to lose some weight. On the other hand, maybe the reason the plus size community is discriminated against so much is because we are some of the main culprits who "hate" on ourselves.

Ironically, one of my closest friends in NYC, a beautiful white girl named Mara Herron who by my standards in the perfect size 8 called me after the show so pumped! She left the following message: "Erica, I love full-figured black women! They were all so fucking gorgeous and their bodies were so amazing! From now on, I am going to love my body and celebrate my size 8 and all of my curves. I am a curvy white bitch and I am proud of who I am. Thank you for inviting me to the show! I love big girls! Big girl power!"

So, Mara left the show proud to be her size. But I left the big girl show wishing I was a size 8. How ironic.

Fat on Fat Crime hurts us all!

P.S.

This blog may burn some bridges, but I have nothing to lose (but weight). Actually losing weight will help me not have to deal with self-hating designers ever again. Luckily places like SIZE APPEAL and IGIGI have sent boxes of clothes for me to wear in the past! Thank God! I plan on wearing them on the red carpet for the Dirty Laundry premiere!!!