Monday, May 7, 2007

It's Hard Being A Pretty Fat Girl !


Life is hard for pretty fat girls. See, if you are an ugly fat girl, there is no hope for you, because even if you lose weight, you just become an ugly skinny girl. And Lord knows we already have enough ugly skinny women in the world. But, when you are a fat girl, with a pretty face, all you do is piss men off. Even gay men say "You Fat Bitch! I would probably be straight if you weren't so fat!" And I tell them "Well, you might as well stay gay because I am going to stay fat. Matter of fact, I'll be at the Gay Parade with a bucket of Chicken! Want some? "

But if I can really stop and be honest with myself, I am TIRED OF BEING A PRETTY FAT GIRL!!! Everywhere I go, people always tell me "You have such a pretty face!"...as a matter of fact I have met lots of fat girls that say everyone tells them that. The problem is, some of the fat girls that tell me this ARE NOT CUTE at all!!! So, should I really believe this compliment? Furthermore, it's not a compliment...it's an insult!! Basically they are saying "Girl, your body looks a hot mess!" And I agree...it does...I have let myself go...but that is about to change! TODAY!!!

No one ever stops to think about all the pressure that comes along with being a PRETTY FAT GIRL. People tend to ignore ugly fat girls. Every time I turn on the tv, I see some homely looking fat chick saying how invisible she feels..even though she is BIG. But it is the total opposite for PRETTY FAT GIRLS. Eveywhere we go, we get a lot of attention...especialy from MEN!!

There is always some dumb guy telling me "You know, I usually am not attracted to BIG WOMEN but it is something about you!!".....or I get "Hey! I just love a big woman! Your fat rolls feel so good!" Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I hardly ever hear men go up to skinny women and say "you know, I just love the way your collar bone and rib cage protrudes from under your skin...sex with you is like sleeping with a twelve year old boy..and your lack of breast tissue is so sexy to me!" In my opinion, cute fat girls have it the WORST!!!

If you haven't guessed by now, I am a stand-up comedian. On Saturday, April 21st I performed @ Caroline's On Broadway at a benefit show hosted by my great friend Shelley Wade from Z-100 to raise money for the The Revlon Run/Walk for Women. Lucille Roberts: Fitness for Women was a sponsor for the WALK and they came to the comedy show to give away a FREE YEAR MEMBERSHIP to a lucky audience member. While I was on stage, I asked one of the beautiful representatives, Vanessa if I could get a membership too. And to my surpise she said YES!!! Can you believe it!!!???!! I wish getting a rich NBA player, or a White Husband could be this easy!!!

I just got my Lucille Roberts membership card in the mail today. Vanessa called me this morning and we promised that we would support each other as we attempt to loose weight!! I decided to create this BLOG so that I can tell eveyone about my weight loss adventure that I am about to take with LUCILLE ROBERTS!!! I hope I don't let them down!!!

Feel free to come back here from time to time to read about all of my success!! I have ALOT OF WEIGHT TO LOOSE but I am ready to do it!!

In the meantime, please check out http://www.lucilleroberts.com and look at everything that this gym has to offer...and maybe if you get a membership I will see you there!! I will be the big girl rocking spandex... trying my best to get all of the little cute skinny trainers/instructors to eat some cupcakes!! Yes, I am a hater....so what!!!

By the way. Everything that I say here is all in fun...and does not reflect the opinion of Lucille Robert's or their employees. I just had to put that out there, even though they did not ask me too. This is my own personal BLOG full of my rantings and narrow-minded opinions about being cute and big in America. We live in a very sensitive POLITCALLY CORRECT society where you can't say anything about anybody anymore...well, unless you want to call them FAT....you can definatey say that!! How ironic.

Feel free to leave any comments that you like. Thanks for visiting.

Love & Laughter,
Erica

23 comments:

kirk said...

Erica-

I came across this post just today. I hope your using your membership! If your not get in touch with me and we'll get you going and if you are reach out as well. I want to know how you’re doing at Lucille Roberts. Hope all is well-

Kirk Roberts
President
Lucille Roberts Health Clubs

kirk said...

Erica-

I came across this post just today. I hope your using your membership! If your not get in touch with me and we'll get you going and if you are reach out as well. I want to know how you’re doing at Lucille Roberts. Hope all is well-

Kirk Roberts
President
Lucille Roberts Health Clubs

kirk said...

Erica-

I came across this post just today. I hope your using your membership! If your not get in touch with me and we'll get you going and if you are reach out as well. I want to know how you’re doing at Lucille Roberts. Hope all is well-

Kirk Roberts
President
Lucille Roberts Health Clubs

Anonymous said...

I SO agree with you here. You couldn't be MORE right. It sucks being the "pretty faced fat chick" Sucks,damn it. I hope you are doing well and whatever..I see this guy kirk left you a million messages, lol..

Anonymous said...

i agree i am the pretty face girl from ohio it is very frustrating to here that " you have a preety face " so i guess the rest is ugly,lol. I am looking to get it together real soon , although i consider my self to be be a very strong woman this weight tears u down , my sexyness is starting to fade my style is diminishing i honestly need help . it is holding me back from my dreams or maybe i am.

Arissa said...

You write very well.

Anonymous said...

See and i am the pretty face chunky girl. I am the biggest out of my friends with an apple shaped body (all weight at the top).i have beautiful friends, i mean they get ALL the attention. Sometimes I just feel like, dang how come no one ever talks to me. Or if they do, its guys that - seriously- i would not talk to. I know that sounds mean. One year we took a girls trip to miami, all the guys were trying to talk to them. One guy walked up to me and said _ damn you are pretty as hell - thats messed up that the guys aint talkin to you cause your chunky. The crazy thing is- he was SERIOUS. I was sooooo embarrassed.Im sorry - I just wanna lose weight be cause being BIG SUUUCCKKKSSS!

Anonymous said...

I hope you're kidding.
This blog is a freaking joke, that or your definition of pretty is the most fucked up thing on the planet.
You call yourself pretty and parade around like guys drool over you all the time, but you tear down any other fat girl who has even a vaguely similar opinion because they aren't 'pretty like you'.
Grow up.
You may be pretty on the outside, but you're a garbage dump on the inside.

tracey said...

Hi Im an english pretty fat girl...and I empathise with your comments....why do men come out with such damned rubbish. I am quite happy in my own skin right now but its taken quite a while to feel comfortable. Im happy being me.

Anonymous said...

You not even that Pretty girl. So on top of that hot mess is a warm amount of mess. So move that hair so we can see that even with 500 dollar's of work on shielding us from that face and making you body look "curvy" you show your true self. A big fat fatty. Your fat, even if you lose some weight. You still will be insecure and weak.




And your so Called "comedy" sucks the left dick of a three dicked animal. This diatrab is a waste of my time, just as you are a waste of seat space. Get your lard giggly dimpled ass off the computer and go jog. Fatass.

crystal said...

your right iam so sick of people just talking about my face and not how my body look but who care. iam a good person inside in out so who care what people think of me. but i do care what i think of me i know i need to lose some pound so i can be around to see my daughter grow. i love life so that why i need to do what i have to do and not because of what people say .and yes iam pound to be a pretty,sexty,happy,caring,big girl

Anonymous said...

I think its great your going to Lucille Roberts which is an awesome gym to loose weight and hope Lucille Roberts helps you achieve your goals

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Anonymous said...

OMG! I know exactly how you feel! I'm the pretty fat girl as well. Most of my friends are the skinny type, but whenever we go out and run into guys i flirt with them and everything, but my friends always get the hook ups cos I'm the "hey you have a pretty face and all but if your body was as good as hers i would be all over you" chick. It sucks, I know. Cos under all this I know I'll have the right figure that guys like, and my face is very pretty, dark skin, green eyes, nice lips, nice smile, long legs, its just that little b*tch that I carry around on my mid section, thighs and everywhere else guys like to have a perve. But I'm in the process of joining a gym, just need to find the time to go! But Erica, you have really inspired me, and I hope one day you decide to tour in Australia, because I would make it my personal mission to go see you, maybe even get a chance to meet you. I hope everything goes well with your gym, and I hope soon I'll be starting at one and can tell you about it.

Much Lovee
Aneva
From Queensland, Australia

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

Katie said...

Girl! I love you! Every word has it's sense, and I can relate on the topics you've posted. :)

Wolf said...

If you must know, the reason why no guy ever complements a thin chick by saying he loves the way her bones stick out is because NO normal healthy guy likes that shit. No guy wants to be reminded that his taste in women is basically one step away from being shyt. I may be impartial here but I’m in my 40s now and all my life I could not figure out what some dudes see in a woman who has more ribs hanging out than you will find at the average southern barbeque. I just don’t get it.

And as far as pretty fat girls having it harder, yes you are correct. Guys can be very crass with their comments toward big women. I think it’s because our shallower as shit society has taught us men to view fatties, no matter how pretty, as second class. Although I feel that many guys like the larger women (even if they won’t admit it) they think it’s cool to give backhanded comments because they think chubby chicks really don’t normally get complements. So any comment on her appearance that isn’t overtly derogatory should be appreciated. This stems from a screwed up kind of thinking that our thin crazed society has implanted into our brains practically since birth. Everywhere you go the idea that a quality woman should be no larger than a size 5 is forced down your throat. Just look at society and our culture as a whole, the media bombards us never ending images of the so called desirable female form; the government has recently gotten into the fat wars big time and the health Nazis are just running roughshod over everything in sight. At this time in our culture distain for fatness has reached an all time high and to make matters worse the population has reached epidemic proportions with obesity.

Talk about a conflicted picture of reality. I think very few people out there even realize what is going on with this issue and even fewer can see through all the bullshit associated with it.

Anonymous said...

You couldn't be more right. Even when I do get compliments, I'm like "wtf are you talking about?" I don't believe them, or completely ignore it because in my OWN MIND, I'm just not satisfied. If I don't agree with my own body, I don't expect others to agree either. So I block it out.

Anonymous said...

Girl stop.... I have to agree with some of the folks here. I was all for your pretty shtick until you started putting down other women that you don't deem as pretty as you... REALLY? Sister, I am going to keep it real. You are NOT pretty. You are average, with weave and some make-up. Please don't continue to play yourself because people will call you out. Monique YOU ARE NOT!! Oh yeah you are vaguely funny. Like, I would NOT pay money to see you because you have no jokes. Just stories of your fat experiences. No Bueno.

Anonymous said...

I HAVE BEEN THE PRETTY THICK GIRL, SMALL WAIST,THICK THIGHS BOOTY AND BREAST. I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH SKINNY WHITE AND ASIAN GIRLS AND ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS FAT AND UGLY,AND NOT FOR ATTENTION LIKE MANY PRETTY GIRLS DO. FROM STRESS,MEDICATIONS,RELATIONSHIPS,LATE WORK LONG HOURS,NO SLEEP ECT I GAINED WEIGHT. I AM NOW THE PRETTY FAT GIRL. STILL IN THE THICK ZONE BUT I KNOW MY WEIGHT AND I KNOW WHAT I USE TO LOOK LIKE SO IT MAKES ME WANT TO SHOW OLD PICTURES AND SHOW HOW MUCH HOTTER I WAS. BUT NOW I LOVE MYSELF SO WHEN I DO LOSE THE WEIGHT I CAN APPRECIATE MY CURVY SEXY FIGURE.I'M 25 AND I WANT MY HIGH SCHOOL SHAPE BACK, I HATE SEEING PEOPLE FROM SCHOOL,BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE THINKING , DAMN SHE GOT BIG BUT SHES STILL CUTE THOUGH.

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